Building your Stock Portfolio with Kristin Rowan — August 2023

You probably should not.

Kristin Rowan
2 min readAug 19

Photo by Nicola Barts :

I have no expertise or profound knowledge about the stock market.

But in case you do want to take advice from a random comedian on the internet, here are my thoughts on what you should be doing with your stock portfolio.


  • Almost anything, though be sure to check my “do not buy” section below. It seems most things are down and according to my dad the stock market as a whole always trends up. So as long as you’re not trying to sell tomorrow, almost anything will work.
  • SPDR S&P 500 ETF Trust (SPY): This has like everything in it and since basically everything is down, everything will have to go back up eventually.
  • Grocery Outlet (GO): Everyone has to eat and grocery outlet has cheap food.


  • Kia (KRX): Have you heard about the TikTok trend where people steal Kias because a lot of them don’t have an anti-theft system? If not, now you have.
  • Target (TGT): It’s up when pretty much everything else is down. Seems pretty sus.
  • Anything that’s impacted by the writer/actor strike. Things like Netflix, Disney, etc. They’ll probably go back up eventually but I predict they will go down more first.

Follow these tips at your own risk. If you do follow my advice and you happen to make money, please share!

Feel free to share your picks or not picks in the comments!