Building your Stock Portfolio with Kristin Rowan — July 2023

You probably should not.

Kristin Rowan
2 min readJul 27

Photo by Pixabay:

I have no expertise or profound knowledge about the stock market.

But in case you do want to take advice from a random comedian on the internet, here are my thoughts on what you should be doing with your stock portfolio.


  • Tesla(TSLA): It had a big drop in price recently and I don’t see why, so seems like it should be going back up.
  • Amazon(AMZN): Despite all the hatred it gets, it still seems to be holding strong. All the attempts to boycott don’t seem to be having an impact.
  • Coca-Cola(KO): Warren Buffet famously likes it. They also do bottled water which I expect will become more and more important as climate change progresses.
  • Bank of America (BAC): Seems to have survived all that banking hubbub and now it has less competition than before.


  • Ford(F): Big trucks are boring. They should go back to the cute little ones of yesteryear.
  • Disney(DIS): So many reasons to avoid this one. The actors and writers strike for one. Disneyland and Disneyworld are in California and Florida, two places that will be hit hard by climate change. Also more and more people will start to realize how cringy a lot of their old movies are. (They were trying to kill puppies in 101 Dalmatians!)
  • Starbucks(SBUX): It just feels less cool than it used to, doesn’t it?
  • Chipotle(CMG): Like Starbucks, also seems less cool than in the past. Also seems way overpriced. Over $2k for a burrito stock?!
  • Facebook(META): It seems like younger people barely use it, so their customers are going to slowly die out.
  • Delta Airlines(DAL): They had passengers stuck on a plane leaving Las Vegas in a heatwave with no air conditioning and passengers started passing out. Then they described it as “uncomfortable conditions.”

Follow these tips at your own risk. If you do follow my advice and you happen to make money, please share!

Feel free to share your picks or not picks in the comments!