I've been thinking about this a lot lately as well. (And also wrote about a related topic, adoption: https://medium.com/@klrowan/watching-tiktoks-has-changed-my-opinion-on-adoption-8100657a8f4f)

I think, like you, I would also have a hard time giving the baby up even if I wasn't biologically related and it makes me uncomfortable that we could be essentially forcing someone to be pregnant because they need the money. It can be quite risky and even if it goes well it changes your body and is unpleasant.

I also feel uncomfortable paying people to do things I don't want to do, so I avoid it as much as I can but it's nearly impossible in a capitalist society.

But I also don't like putting even more barriers in front of gay men becoming parents. I don't know what the answer is either.