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Keeping up with the Joneses

Kristin Rowan
1 min readJul 12, 2021
Photo by Brett Sayles from Pexels

I don’t know my neighbors’ last name so for all I know it really could be Jones. Logically I know that nobody is perfect, but from the outside they sure look perfect.

Like me they have two young kids but somehow they manage to get yardwork done. While the kids are outside! Sometimes the kids even help! I pay to get my lawn mowed and am contemplating how to get rid of all the grass so I don’t even have to do that.

The mom stays home like me, but their dad is a firefighter. I live with my dad and he is very much not a firefighter.

They have a jogging stroller and actually use it for its intended purpose.

They have friends that come over to their house frequently. The whole family! The whole family has friends.

They know how to back their car into the driveway without hitting the garage or getting in the grass.

One time when their visitors were leaving around bedtime both kids came out in their diapers to say goodbye, which somehow makes them seem even more perfect. They use pajamas presumably! They’re not afraid to be naked!

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Kristin Rowan
Kristin Rowan

Written by Kristin Rowan

Comedian (https://www.youtube.com/@kristinlrowan), author of Paula and Mr. Meanie Pants, single mom

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