I Still Don’t Get Why SNL Didn’t Hire Me
Commercial: Noseguard Infomercial
Patient: Host (could be anybody)
Mikey is sitting on a chair by a fireplace in an expensively decorated room like in Beauty and the Beast. He is reading a book. He is holding the book close to his face and when he turns the page it touches his nose.
Argh! My nose! I got a papercut on my nose!
Has this ever happened to you? Or this?
Kenan walks into a sliding glass door. He yells and grabs his nose.
NARRATOR (V. O.)
Kate is very sunburned and is building an intricate sand castle at the beach. A seagull attacks her face.
Not my nose! I need that for smelling!
Leslie is the dentist in a dentist’s office. The Patient is in the chair.
Alright, now it’s time to rinse and spit.
The Patient rinses and spits into Leslie’s face.
That went up my nose!
It looks like you need NoseGuard.
He hands a NoseGuard to Leslie. She puts it on. The NoseGuards are just clown noses painted to match the actor’s skin color.
Let’s try this again. Rinse and spit.
The Patient again rinses and then spits in her face, but this time Leslie smiles and turns to the camera…