I Still Don’t Get Why SNL Didn’t Hire Me
Please enjoy the sketches I submitted to SNL back in 2019
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Commercial: Noseguard Infomercial
Narrator: Chris
Patient: Host (could be anybody)
Mikey: Mikey
Kenan: Kenan
Kate: Kate
Leslie: Leslie
Pete: Pete
Aidy: Aidy
Michael: Michael
Alex: Alex
Kyle: Kyle
Mikey is sitting on a chair by a fireplace in an expensively decorated room like in Beauty and the Beast. He is reading a book. He is holding the book close to his face and when he turns the page it touches his nose.
MIKEY
Argh! My nose! I got a papercut on my nose!
NARRATOR (V.O.)
Has this ever happened to you? Or this?
CUT TO:
Kenan walks into a sliding glass door. He yells and grabs his nose.
NARRATOR (V. O.)
Or this?
CUT TO:
Kate is very sunburned and is building an intricate sand castle at the beach. A seagull attacks her face.
KATE
Not my nose! I need that for smelling!
CUT TO:
Leslie is the dentist in a dentist’s office. The Patient is in the chair.
LESLIE
Alright, now it’s time to rinse and spit.
The Patient rinses and spits into Leslie’s face.
LESLIE
That went up my nose!
Narrator enters.
NARRATOR
It looks like you need NoseGuard.
He hands a NoseGuard to Leslie. She puts it on. The NoseGuards are just clown noses painted to match the actor’s skin color.
LESLIE
Let’s try this again. Rinse and spit.
The Patient again rinses and then spits in her face, but this time Leslie smiles and turns to the camera…
